Now you are a happily engaged couple, planning the wedding of your dreams. Traditionally, the bride has taken the most responsibility for planning the wedding ceremony and honeymoon. Thankfully, gender stereotypes are being challenged and more and more grooms are stepping up to the plate and helping to plan their weddings.
The following lists some simple ways for you to get your groom interested in the planning process:

1) Have one-on-one discussion with your groom.

2) Make wedding planning fun for groom. Try to lower his anxiety about wedding planning and boost his self-confidence. For example, compliment him on his creativity, organizational skills, musical tastes, etc.

3) Create manageable tasks that the groom can be involved with and take accountability for, such as ordering the wedding invitations, addressing them and mailing them to your guests.

4) Ask your groom to what degree he would like to be involved regarding wedding planning. Avoid trying to read his mind about his feelings about being involved in planning your wedding.

5) Ask your groom if there is a special area that he would like to be responsible for one of the following areas:

• wedding music
• flowers for ceremony
• flowers for reception
• planning your wedding lunch or dinner menu
• finding tuxedos or suits for himself and his groomsmen
• listening to different DJs and bands and selecting his favorite one
• researching and visiting reception sites
• planning honeymoon (destination, accommodations, itinerary)
• selecting and ordering wedding cakes and desserts

6) Work with your groom’s special interests and talents. For example, if your groom loves cooking, have him plan the menu for your wedding lunch or dinner. If your groom loves music, have him plan the musical entertainment for your reception.

7) Delegate certain simple tasks to your groom.

8) Brides, avoid the “Bridezilla” phenomenon. A “Bridezilla” is defined by the following behaviors and characteristics:

• controlling behavior
• irritability
• yelling
• making all the decisions
• being hard-to-please
• criticizing the groom’s tastes, ideas and preferences

9) Encourage your groom to think about planning your wedding together as a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you two to bond in a unique way and learn more about one another through the wedding planning process.

10) Ensure that you have open and honest discussions about your wedding budget, including the overall budget, budget for ceremony, reception and honeymoon. Discuss what expenses the groom, the bride, the couple, the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents will be responsible for.

11) AVOID fighting over wedding planning and wedding budgets. Finances is the number one topic married couples fight over. Start your marriage on the healthy path by having loving, mature, productive discussions about your wedding finances.

Being engaged to your beloved is a wonderful experience. As you two plan the many details of your wedding ceremony and reception, you both realize that what you are really looking forward to is a relaxing and romantic honeymoon. You both have your own ideas as to what constitutes the “perfect honeymoon.” Who gets to choose the honeymoon destination?

There are four options that you as an engaged couple may wish to consider.

Option 1:
The bride selects the honeymoon destination, the resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 2:
The groom selects the honeymoon destination, the resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 3:
The bride and the groom work together to decide on the honeymoon destination, resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 4:
Have an honest and loving discussion about what partner would like to plan each part of the honeymoon. Maybe the bride selects the honeymoon destination, the groom selects the resort or hotel, and the couple decides on their activities, itinerary, special day trips and dates together.

To guide you in figuring out what responsibilities to keep and what responsibilities to give your future spouse, consider each partner’s special interests and talents. Who cares more about the honeymoon destination, the accommodations, the restaurant venues and the itinerary? If the groom loves cooking, allow him to decide upon the restaurants the two of you intend to visit. If the bride is an art lover, allow her to plan out your travel itinerary, including trips to special art galleries and museums.

Planning your wedding and honeymoon together provide many opportunities for you as a couple to develop your communication skills and problem-solving skills with one another. Compromise is a key component of a healthy marriage, so learn to compromise with your honeymoon planning. Stick to your preference when it comes to something that it really important to you, like the destination, and compromise with a detail that matters more to your partner, like the accommodations.

It is worth mentioning that a fifth option exists when it comes to who is responsible for planning the honeymoon. Some grooms like to surprise their new wife by planning the entire honeymoon, figuring out all details, covering all expenses, and flying with their wife after their wedding to destination that the bride only discovers at airport or upon arrival. Would your bride enjoy such a memorable surprise? It just depends on the bride’s personality. Some brides like surprises and spontaneity, and would consider it incredibly romantic and stress-relieving for their new spouse to take full responsibility for planning the myriad of details associated with the honeymoon. Other brides, however, favor having control over all aspects of the wedding planning and feel more comfortable and relaxed by not having to deal with any major surprises or changes.

The moment that you have been waiting for has finally arrived û the love of your life has proposed marriage to you and you accepted his proposal with an enthusiastic “Yes!” Now begins the happy but at times stressful fury of activity, planning and decision-making leading up to your special wedding day. Wedding ceremony order of service? Wedding reception site? Dinner or lunch menu? Guest list? Bridal gown? Selecting attendants? Flowers? Entertainment? Honeymoon destination? Many important decisions lay ahead. Newly engaged couples, especially the bride-to-be, often feel over-whelmed with all of the dozens and dozens of significant details that demand their time and attention in order to create the perfect wedding day.

An option that more and more engaged couples are seriously considering these days is whether or not to hire a professional wedding planner to help navigate them through the uncertain and unfamiliar waters of wedding planning.
The wedding planner will offer you professional and experienced advice at each stage of your wedding planning. They are like a “wedding mentor,” as they have often planned many successful weddings and can offer their invaluable experience to you and your groom.

An organized and knowledgeable wedding planner will help you and your partner compare different possibilities regarding wedding necessities, companies and pricing. For example, the planner will meet with you and your spouse-to-be and discuss various options for reception sites, lay out the different packages and fees, and recommend various quality caterers to you. As an active participant in the “wedding industry,” the efficient wedding planner will be able to recommend several bridal bouquets for you to visit, saving you the time of having to page through the phone book or search countless bridal websites looking for your ideal dress.

A quality wedding planner can suggest to you and your groom where to find unique and top-notch wedding items, such as special wedding invitations or hard-to-find flowers. The experienced wedding planner will have a whole range of helpful contacts and be able to get answers to questions from her various colleagues in the wedding industry.
The wedding planner will be able to help financially-conscious couples track down the best deals for bridal clothing, catering services, tuxedo rentals, flowers and music.

The planner will help you as a couple manage your time and remind you when you need to make important decisions; for example, sending out invitations 6 months in advance, taking engagement photos to be included in the invitations, putting together the bridal registry, attending dress fittings.

The wedding planner can serve as a valuable resource for both the bride and groom on the wedding day. Most brides tend to feel very nervous and somewhat irritable on the morning of their wedding day, as they have envisioned the “perfect ceremony” or “perfect wedding photos” and place a lot of pressure on themselves for everything to work out without any problems. The wedding planner can act as a source of emotional support to the frenzied bride.

Congratulations to you and your partner on getting engaged! Now as bride and groom, you have the exciting responsibilities of planning the wedding of your dreams! Finances are the primary source of conflict among couples, so minimize any fighting or tension by working together to establish a realistic, well-researched and mutually-satisfying wedding budget.

First work together to create your over-all budget. What is the total amount of money that you have to work with? Is it $10,000? $20,000? $30,000? Take into consideration the following factors:

a) the amount of money the bride and groom have saved up for the wedding
b) the amount of money the bride’s parents are contributing
c) the amount of money the groom’s parents are contributing
d) the free services and/or gifts family and friends are contributing

Please consider the following expenses: (Feel free to create a spreadsheet or record information such as maximum budget, price quotes and actual costs in a special wedding planner or wedding journal):

1) WEDDING CLOTHES

a) bridal gown, shoes, lingerie, jewelry, veil/hair piece

b) groom’s clothes: tuxedo – purchase or rent?, suit?, shoes, shirt, undergarments

c) bridesmaids’ dresses
*consider 3 options
1) bridal couple pays for bridesmaids’ dresses
2) each woman pays for her own dress & shoes
3) bridal couple pays for portion and bridesmaid pays for portion of expenses

d) groomsmen clothes û rent tuxes or purchase suits, purchase shoes
*consider 2 options
1) couple pays for tux rental, shoes & extras
2) each groomsman pays for his own tux, shoes & clothes

2) WEDDING CEREMONY

a) MUSIC
i)vocalist(s)
ii)musician(s)

b) flowers

c) ceremony location rental: church, park, community centre, museum, art gallery

d) officiant/ pastor/ minister fee

3) WEDDING RECEPTION

a) rental of hall/ restaurant/ art gallery/ museum/ park/ church reception room

b) flowers

c) WEDDING LUNCH OR DINNER
-catering fees

i) cost of meal

ii) cost of catering services

iii) cost of tables & chairs rentals

iv) cost of alcohol – decide whether or not to serve alcohol

v)cost of desserts and appetizers

d) decorations

e) entertainment û DJ or band or musicians

f) lighting & sound system

4) WEDDING HONEYMOON

a) cost of hotel/ resort accommodations

b) cost of air or train travel

c) cost of meals/ food

d) cost of honeymoon travel; for excursions, dates, day trips

e) cost of honeymoon clothes

f) travel health insurance

5) OTHER EXPENSES

a) wedding planner

b) wedding planning book

c) bridal shower(s)
û does couple pay for bridal shower, or bride or groom’s friends/ family; lunch or dinner included?

d) engagement party û does couple pay for party, or bride or groom’s friends/ family

e) presents for husband & wife to give one another

f) presents to give bridesmaids, groomsmen

g) bride and groom’s wedding bands

I hope that you find these wedding planning ideas to be helpful to you and your groom as you plan your wedding budget. Feel free to print out this article and use it as a “To Do List” to guide your planning. Enjoy your journey towards becoming husband and wife!